The Surprising Power of No-Agenda Checkins
It was 3:30 on a Wednesday afternoon. I'd been working on a complex estate plan all day, alone in my office with only my spider plant for company. I'd spoken to exactly zero humans since my morning client call ended at 11 AM.
And then it hit me: I hadn't had a real conversation with anyone in the profession in nearly two weeks.
That's when I realized — this solo practice thing can get lonely.
Don't get me wrong. The freedom to work exactly how I want without office politics is precisely why I went solo in the first place. But some days, the silence is deafening. I catch myself talking to my tea cup just to hear a voice (even if it's my own).
I'm guessing I'm not alone in this. For all the independence and flexibility solo practice offers, it comes with a side of isolation that nobody warns you about in law school.
The Value of Reaching Out Without an Agenda
A few years ago, I stumbled onto something that transformed both my practice and my wellbeing: reaching out to people with absolutely no agenda.
Not to get referrals. Not to ask for anything. Not to network strategically.
Just to connect.
I started setting aside time each month to touch base with colleagues, old clients, and other professionals. Not because I needed anything, but simply to maintain human connections in a profession that can quickly become isolating.
The results were remarkable:
My relationships deepened. When you reach out with no hidden agenda, people can feel it. The conversations become more genuine, more personal, and ultimately more meaningful. I went from having "professional contacts" to having actual friends in the legal community.
My practice grew. Ironically, the moment I stopped reaching out to drum up business, business started coming my way. Those strengthened relationships naturally led to referrals — not because I asked, but because people genuinely wanted to help.
My mental health improved. Solo practice can be a pressure cooker. Having a community of peers who understand the unique challenges we face provides an essential pressure release valve. Those regular check-ins keep me grounded and remind me I'm not alone on this journey.
Simple Ways to Stay Connected (Without Being Weird About It)
If the thought of randomly reaching out to people makes you want to crawl under your desk, I get it. But it doesn't have to be awkward. Here are some low-pressure ways to nurture genuine connections:
Scheduled Check-Ins
I keep a "connection calendar" where I jot down names of people I want to stay in touch with. Each month, I reach out to a handful of them. This isn't a spreadsheet with analytics—it's just a simple way to make sure valuable relationships don't fall through the cracks.
The key here is consistency. You don't need to contact everyone all the time, but regular touchpoints keep relationships alive. I've had referrals from attorneys I've been checking in with for years, even though we've never formally "referred" business to each other.
Personalized Messages That Actually Mean Something
We've all received those generic "just checking in" LinkedIn messages that scream "I'M LOOKING FOR BUSINESS!"
Don't be that person.
Instead, share something of actual value:
"I just read this article about changes to estate tax laws and immediately thought of your practice. Might be useful for your clients..."
"Saw this podcast on work-life balance for attorneys that made me think of our conversation last year..."
"Your firm's recent win in the Johnson case was impressive—congratulations! The strategy you used for handling the expert witness was brilliant."
These messages show you're paying attention to what matters to them, not just what they can do for you.
Coffee Without the Hard Sell
I'll admit it — I used to dread "coffee meetings" because they often felt like thinly disguised sales pitches. Now I approach them differently.
I invite people to coffee with zero expectations. Just conversation. Just connection. A chance to step away from our desks and remember we're human beings, not just revenue-generating machines.
Some of my most valued professional relationships started with a simple cup of coffee and the question, "How are you doing, really?"
The Lost Art of Handwritten Notes
In a world of instant digital communication, a handwritten note stands out like a peacock at a pigeon convention.
I keep a stack of simple notecards on my desk. When someone refers a client or shares helpful advice, I send a quick handwritten thank you. It takes three minutes but makes a lasting impression.
Last year, I sent a note to a colleague congratulating her on launching her own practice. Six months later, she called to refer a major client because, as she put it, "You were the only person who took the time to acknowledge that milestone in my career."
The Voice in Your Head That Says "This Is Weird"
I know what some of you are thinking:
"People will think I'm desperate for business."
"They're too busy to hear from me."
"This feels forced and awkward."
Trust me, I’ve had all these thoughts too - especially the one about folks being too busy. But here's what I've learned: most people are flattered when someone reaches out genuinely. We're all starving for authentic connection in a profession that can be surprisingly disconnected.
Start with the people you're most comfortable with. A former colleague. A law school friend. Build your confidence with each interaction.
The truth is, everyone else is just as hesitant to reach out as you are. When you take that first step, you're not just building your own support network — you're helping others build theirs too.
The Ripple Effect
The most unexpected benefit of regular, agenda-free connections? The ripple effect it creates in your life and practice:
Your mental health improves. The American Bar Association reports that lawyers are 3.6 times more likely to suffer from depression than non-lawyers. Regular social connections are one of the most effective buffers against burnout and isolation.
You build a support community. When you're facing a challenging case or a difficult client, having trusted colleagues to call on makes all the difference. My impromptu texts with other solo practitioners has saved my sanity more times than I can count.
Opportunities find you. When you're genuinely connected to your professional community, opportunities arrive in unexpected ways. Some of the most meaningful work I’ve done came through a casual conversation with someone I'd been having quarterly coffee with for years — not because I was pitching, but because we had a real relationship.
Your Connection Challenge
Here's my challenge to you: This week, reach out to three people with absolutely no agenda other than to connect.
Send a text, an email, or (gasp!) make an actual phone call. Ask how they're doing. Share something interesting you've read or learned recently. Suggest coffee if you're feeling brave.
Do it without expectation. Do it simply to remind yourself — and them — that we're all humans navigating this legal journey together.
Then notice what happens. Notice how it feels. Notice the responses you get.
What I've found is that these small, consistent actions toward connection not only combat the isolation of solo practice — they transform it into one of its greatest strengths. Because when you're solo, you have the freedom to build your community exactly as you choose.
And that makes all the difference.
What are your favorite ways to stay connected as a solo practitioner? Hit reply and let me know — I'm always looking for new ideas to strengthen my own connections…and make new ones. ☺️
Here’s to staying connected,
Lauren
P.S. Remember that reaching out doesn't have to be complicated or time-consuming. Even a simple text saying, "Thinking of you and hoping your practice is going well," can be the beginning of a valuable connection. The key is authenticity — people can tell the difference between genuine interest and networking for the sake of networking. Start small, be consistent, and watch how your professional community grows stronger with each thoughtful interaction.